Biden biding time till ’24
New York, highest taxpayer to DC — is crumbling. Golden California — already tarnished. Big state Texas up to its Alamo in migrants.
This ongoing unchecked foreign arrivals problem can be solved. Delaware.
Ship them there. Plenty of room. It’s zero. Got nothing.
Even the Delaware Water Gap — who’s actually just a drizzle between Jersey and Pennsylvania — isn’t in Delaware.
I know. I’ve been. All that’s there is Biden’s rear and whatever’s stuck up it.
There’s only Joe, Hunter, Joe’s now rich brother, assorted newly wealthy relatives and Jill’s overworked hair colorist. The state’s smaller than Kim Kardashian’s behind.
Migrants don’t go there because they can’t find it.
The state has no tax. It’s for retirees. The local drink? Dogfish Head. Main dish? Scrapple.
Biden just squats under an umbrella staring at the ocean. Not a lot of shops in the ocean.
Want anything else you have to go out of state. Shove Ukraine, screw Russia, forget China, this guy’s busy building sand castles.
He sits. Reads. Telephones the big brain son. It’s nice. Quiet. Nobody desperate for food, water, a bed, money, safety, sanity, language, how to clean a baby, how to find a job. He can just collect seashells.
No immigrants to muck up his pure clean sand. Even Valerie Bertinelli — born there — moved to Los Angeles.
The nearest migrant is miles away. And anyway Joe has no moment to meet the press or even to walk up airplane steps.
His major accomplishment was huddling in a basement. Playing Monopoly with family members. Searching for the elusive B-7 to make Bingo. And then — good boy — eat his farina.
New York, New York’s a helluva town
Out of his mouth lately is only: “Don’t F with the Bidens.” Yeah? Really? Well, how about, Don’t F with the USA.
Remind disordered brains in DC that NYC is the capital of the world. Everyone wants here. NYC. Not DC.
Not to see you staring at a kite over a beach when your whole state’s highway I-95. Smaller than my bra.
They want to come to NEW YORK!
We got bagels, steaks, cheesecake, Radio City, Empire State Building, Bronx Zoo, St. Pat’s, uptown, downtown, crosstown, Broadway, Yankees, songs “New York, New York” and “Take the A Train,” NY Post, Diamond Center, Freedom Tower, Statue of Liberty, George Washington’s tavern.
We got Winston, Cartier, Bergdorfs, Fifth Avenue, Central Park, Chinatown, Natural History Museum, Madison Square Garden, stock exchange, Wall Street — now thanks to you who cared about nothing — you, Biden, are ruining it.
DC living ain’t breezy
With your crackerjack VP who supposedly is in charge of the border — but doesn’t know where it is — is having it so tough that homeless are creating garbage faster than DC can collect our taxes.
Napoleon played house in Elba, old Joe now plays with seaweed. And can’t get off his assets to do anything.
I only know I have toured Delaware. Whizzing through the entire state took maybe half an hour — which includes the five minutes my driver stopped to pee.
However, a few residents allowed me whispers. They’ve seen. They’ve heard.
May other ears also listen to what they know.